Jer Blog

According to the Australian free press, Santa Claus’s in Sydney Australia have been told not to use the traditional “ho ho ho” greeting because it may be offensive to women because, it was too close the the U.S’s slang term “ho”, which is another term for prostitute.

The Australian Santa’s have been instructed to use “ha ha ha”, instead.

Can you believe this or what? I used to always say, “what is this country coming to?”, because crap like this seems to only happen in the U.S. I guess, now I have to say, “what is this WORLD coming to?”, instead.

Make it be noted tho, that of course, the U.S. had something to do with this tho lol.

Next thing to be banned, I’m sure, is any references to Santa’s sack ;0)

Everyone needs a good laugh from time to time. Hopefully this does the trick:

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?”

Mike replies: “Wait a minute, I’m going for a piss.”

The teacher says: “That would be very rude and improper on your part.”

Charlie replies: “I’m sorry I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back in a minute.”

The teacher says: “That’s much better but to mention the word “toilet” during a meal, is unpleasant.”

Little Johnny then says: “My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner.”

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”

The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter,
Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!”

To go with the upcoming Mother’s Day holiday. Here are some classic one-liners that most of you probably heard from good ol’ mom at least once:

• Always change your underwear, you never know when you will have an accident.
• Don’t make that face or it will stay like that.
• Be careful, or you will put your eye out.
• What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it too?
• You have enough dirt behind your ears to grow potatos.
• Close the door! Where you born in a barn?
• If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
• Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been.